Our members are incredibly happy
Thousands of our members have used our research-based coaching program to help them:
- Stop bingeing
- Stop purging
- Maintain a healthy weight for life, without dieting
- Feel calm and in control around food
- Boost their self-esteem and general well-being
See What Our Members are Saying...
Michelles's Story: Recovery after 46 years
For 46 years until recently I’ve been a bulimic.
That’s a long time to be anything.
Now I am sixty. I have seen more doctors and been in more programs than you can imagine, all to no avail.I signed up to coaching and was assigned my coach.
A kinder, more encouraging and more knowledgeable person I cannot imagine. She led me out of a fiery inferno to a place where the anguish stopped and I could heal my wounds. I believe my respect for her unwavering care and commitment was a major part of my recovery.
Also every other facet of the program, but she was my rock. I am not the same person I was.
Now I am accomplishing things I had worked so, so, so hard for my whole life, only to splat myself on a brick wall of failure. Binge Code Coaching has literally saved my life, physically, mentally and in that elusive portion of our psyches, the soul. I am so grateful, I cannot in any way express the depth of my feelings.
If you are suffering, sign up. Every part of the program will help you, and the support is unlimited. Take it from an old timer, it is the best of the best.
Pat Mary's Story: Recovery after 43 years
It feels strange to look back now and realise that prior to my recovery, I had never really known what life without an eating disorder was like.
I can trace my first memories of disordered eating all the way back to when I was mere 3 or 4 years old.I was always a highly sensitive, anxious child and it did not take long for food to become the primary focus of my childhood fears.
I remember being particularly scared of eating school dinners and doing everything in my power to avoid it. These attempts couldn’t fool the school’s headmaster – he noticed that I was growing increasingly pale and malnourished, and informed my parents about my reluctance to eat at school.
It wasn’t like it was any different at home though – my mum always had a hard time convincing me to finish my meals. The concern of my headmaster, however, landed me and my mum in the doctor’s office. It was Ireland in the 1960s – medical professionals knew nothing about eating disorders back then. The doctor didn’t take my problem seriously. He assured my mum that I would simply grow out of it.
This was the first time I was told that my struggles were, in a sense, not real. It took years for me to persuade myself otherwise and try looking for help again. So I kept on doing what I had always done – and I was growing more and more exhausted, depressed and isolated in the process. Life wasn’t easy for my parents too – my dad was an alcoholic and my mum had four younger children to raise.
As a result, my decline went largely unnoticed. I felt unloved most of the time. No matter what I did, I never felt like I was good enough.
My body image deteriorated and my thoughts became distorted. I was bingeing more and more frequently. I was also worrying about my weight and, in an attempt to control it, I started purging at least once or twice a day.
- I thought I had no discipline and no self-control.
- I blamed myself for what was happening to me.
- I went on numerous diets in the hope of reducing my insatiable appetite.
- I kept on restricting my food intake and punishing myself for bingeing.
- I even tried going to counselling for a while – however, it wasn’t geared towards my eating disorder and focused in on other problems that had occurred in my life.
- I didn’t know where else to turn.
- I felt hopeless.
As the years went by with no significant changes, the desire to just give up grew stronger and stronger.
It all changed after I accidentally stumbled on a book “The Bulimia Help Method” by Ali and Richard Kerr. Everything that I read in there made perfect sense – from beginning to end.
My bulimia wasn’t my fault after all. It was simply an automatic physical response brought on by years of starvation and malnourishment. The same process would affect anyone and everyone who starved themselves – of course. I was no different! Reading the book was an eye-opening experience, a true revelation that allowed me to realise that I could recover even after four decades of disordered eating.
I decided not to waste any more time and started the recovery process straight away.
“The Bulimia Help Method” made it absolutely clear that structured eating was one of the most important elements of recovery. I was eager to put this theory to the test and began eating 6 daily meals every 3 hours, while also paying attention to micronutrients and focusing on consuming lots of fresh, whole foods.
I have to admit though that it wasn’t all smooth sailing. I stuck to my eating schedule, I kept nourishing my body, but I still couldn’t get a handle on my bingeing and purging.
I was still frightened of letting my old coping mechanisms go.
Perhaps it was too late for me to recover after all?
Perhaps, after 43 years of disordered eating, the patterns were simply too ingrained to be changed?
It was clear that I needed something extra, something more to really make a difference in my life.
That was when I signed up to the Binge Code Coaching Program and met Catherine, a person who became my trusted recovery guide.
It was such a significant turning point in my healing that I can still remember the exact date of our meeting – 23 February.
From that day onward, I only thought positively about recovery.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that meeting Catherine absolutely changed my life.
There was finally somebody who understood me, believed in me and, most importantly, helped me believe in myself.
The things that my coach taught me were truly invaluable.
- I learned to be myself, love myself and care for myself.
- I learned to allow myself to just take a rest and enjoy recovery.
- I learned to experience it to the full – with all of the pain, the joy, the highs, the lows and the relapses that come with it.
And all the while Catherine was there for me, never judgemental and always endlessly encouraging.
With the help of my coach, I discovered that feeling my emotions was actually okay.
It wasn’t scary or threatening. I didn’t have to numb my anxiety, anger or pain with food. If I allowed my feelings to simply be there, they moved through my body and eventually dispersed.
It was holding on to them, trying to prevent them from moving, trying to prevent the pain, that caused the tension more than anything else.
Because of my coaching, I was able to become familiar with my true feelings and my true self once again. It’s the greatest gift that anyone could ever receive.
Sure, there have been challenges along the way and I had to learn to overcome them.
Georgia's Story: Recovery after 25 years
Monique's Story: Recovery after 15 years
I suffered with bulimia for over 15 years. I’d given up all hope for recovery/normal life.
I thought I’d suffer with my eating disorder for the rest of my life. I was too afraid to go to a treatment center, but at the time that’s the only way I thought recovery might be possible. It wasn’t until I came across “The Bulimia Help Method” audio book in October 2016, that I realized “maybe I can do this”? It was the first time I’d ever felt a glimpse of hope for recovery.
When I first heard the concepts in the book, I realized there might not be anything “wrong” with me, just that I was starving. My body was trying to keep be alive. It was instinctual…. the binging and purging behaviors were my bodies way of keeping me alive.
Once I completed the audio book, I knew I could do it! I just needed a little more help and guidance. So I signed up for 1 – 1 coaching.
I worked with Milda for over a year and a half. We had a coaching call once a week where she walked me through each step of the method/process. She helped me focus on the building blocks for a solid foundation of my recovery.
- Structured eating,
- learning my hunger and satiety cues,
- restoring my body weight,
- learning new coping skills,
- body image work,
- intuitive eating
- and so much more.
Not only did Milda help me on my recovery journey, she picked me up when I didn’t have the strength to keep going.
She held my hand and reassured me that I was in fact strong enough to keep going. Without Milda, I cannot say I would be where I am today. 3.5 years into my recovery journey!
Although Milda and I no longer have coaching calls every week, I will always consider Milda one of my greatest friends! I am forever GRATEFUL!
Rochelle's Story: Recovery after 15 years
My name is Rochelle and I am 33 years old. Bulimia has been a part of my life for 15 years. Yikes.
I grew up in a loving home. No history of abuse. And yet, I developed an eating disorder. With ED in tow I somehow made it through nursing school, got married, and landed my dream job. I figured I was a functioning bulimic. I could have my cake and eat it too. In fact, make that three cakes, with a quart of ice cream with a sleeve of cookies. I thought I was cheating the system.
But alas, it was too good to be true. In reality, my life was falling apart. All my time and energy was devoted to binging and purging. I would start the cycle with breakfast and continue all day. I could easily spend $100 a week on binge food, and purge 5-10 times a day to rid myself of the calories. I was skinny, just like I wanted….so why did I hate myself?
I hated myself because nearly every word out of my mouth was a lie in an effort to keep my secret hidden. I had no close friends. I was a so-so nurse. My face was bloated, my gums were receding, my teeth were decaying, and my skin was dry. I was always freezing cold. When I stood up, I would nearly pass out. I was a moody bitch to my husband, and our marriage was deteriorating.
One January night, after yet another fight with my husband who was convinced I was cheating on him, I started to think I might have a problem.
With tears streaming down my face and a handful of snotty tissues, I feverishly typed away at my computer searching for an answer. Thank Google for Binge Code.
Wow. The book blew my mind! It was full of evidence-based research. It was logical. There was no arguing with the facts. I wasn’t weak; I was in a constant state of distressed hunger. My body has been starving for 15 years!
I was so excited to start recovery, armed with this newfound knowledge. For once I had a step-by-step plan to rid myself of bulimia instead of relying on sheer willpower.
I went nine days b/p-free, which was absolutely unheard of for me at the time. I was impressed with how well SE worked, but also disappointed when I slipped-up on day ten. I thought I should be able to quit cold turkey.
I had no idea how addicted I had become. Even when I had my physical hunger under control, I would battle emotional and boredom hunger for months to come. I still had so much to learn. I continued to struggle, never going longer than 19 days without a slip. I was becoming more and more frustrated with myself, thinking recovery was just not possible.
But here I am now, one year later. And it’s a day for celebration!
100 days ago I took off my wedding ring and challenged myself to choose either my husband or my bulimia….FOR GOOD, because I can’t have both.
I have had my wedding ring on for nearly 8 years, so I noticed when it was gone. It was a daily reminder of my goal.
It feels natural and permanent. I’m armed with the knowledge of what works for me, and what doesn’t. I’m settling into my set-point weight. I have healthy coping mechanisms.
No food is off limits. I’m in love with my bulimia-free life, and out of love with the binge.
Joanne's Story: Recovery after 40 years
Hi, my name is Joanne Sanderley and I am 54 years of age.
I have suffered from an eating disorder for 40 years, since the age of 14 and thought I would be an old lady still suffering from this crippling condition.
My journey with body image and dieting started when I was 14 and my sister and I decided to have a competition to see who could go without food the longest and lose the most weight.
I lasted a whole week and from then on starving myself, bingeing and purging became a huge part of my life.
Initially I felt good and in control, it was something in my life that was mine, no one could take it away from me. Then the bingeing and purging took over and I couldn’t believe how easy it was to bring up food. I was like wow I can eat whatever I want, I can gorge myself til bursting then just bring it back up.
It took over my life, even if I ate a few crackers I would bring them up as well. What was so horrific about this was I didn’t even need to induce vomiting. I would just bend over the toilet and everything would come back up .
As I got older I would have periods of recovery and then something would happen or I would eat too much on a dinner out and just have to get rid of it. I hated having anything in my stomach. It just felt wrong! This became my life for so long it was what defined me.
I couldn’t imagine life without it.
Then when I was 26 years old I managed to get pregnant and realised to protect my unborn child I would need to stop this addictive behaviour! The horrible thing about this condition is that you feel like you can stop it at any time but just when you think you have it in control something happens and off you go again. So this pattern of bingeing and purging still occurred all through my pregnancies!
Sadly I was not able to tell anyone not even my closest friends about what I was doing, it was all just too shameful and too overwhelming.
Last year at the age of 53 when I was stooped over the toilet trying to vomit something hit me, it was like omg you are 53 years of age – you need help – you can’t keep doing this. So that’s when I looked online and discovered the Bulimia Help Method Book. I have not looked back since.
I read the book twice, started doing the structured eating and following it to the tee. I loved the constant flow of emails and encouragement I would get from Ali and her team even though I had never met them or spoken to them in person. Every week there would be an email with encouragement and uplifting advice on how to move forward and how you really can recover from this disease even if you have had it as long as I have!!!
At first it was quite difficult for me as I did get bloating of the stomach and I hated the thought of putting on weight but once I realised this was all part of the recovery process I accepted it and just kept going. For me personally it was the regular flow of emails and contact that I had from ali and her team which really helped me believe in myself and help me through the dark times.
So I would like to thank ali and her team from the bottom of my heart for saving my life and giving me hope. I am now 54 years of age and have been bulimia free for 8 months. I have finally been able to tell my husband and my children and am very positive about living my life free of this crippling condition!
YOU CAN DO IT!!! YOU REALLY CAN!
Auckland New Zealand
“I am indebted to The Binge Code but in particular, Milda Zolubaite, for the support I received when recovering from my eating disorder. Milda was always compassionate, kind, and non-judgemental; I felt completely safe talking to her about what were often very sensitive, painful experiences.
I travel a lot with work so the ease of accessibility was a huge factor for me when signing up to the service. Ultimately, the proof is in the results.
I had severe bulimia and anorexia for seventeen years and I thought I would struggle with these issues for the rest of my life. I’m almost three years free from any symptoms and I have never once been tempted to return to my old, destructive way of living.
I didn’t know it was possible for me to feel such peace and freedom. Binge Code and Milda played a huge part in that and I’m so grateful.”
“I don’t even know where to begin, so to put it simply, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for helping me get my life back.
There were so many years that went by where I truly believed my eating disorder would always win and that there was nothing I could do to stop it, no matter how hard I tried.
I thought life had to be that way for me, and that something as simple as enjoying a meal at a restaurant with friends was out of the question. However, you came into my life and inspired me, motivated me, celebrated my every accomplishment, and were there to pick me back up when I had setbacks and doubts. Your guidance and support was so meaningful, genuine, and compassionate, and it was exactly what I needed to get to where I am now.
I’ve accomplished so much in the past year, and I can’t wait to see where an eating disorder free life continues to take me.
I don’t know that I will ever be able to repay you for all that you have done for me, however, I plan to use everything you have taught me to help others who are struggling with food, body image and chronic dieting.”
My name is Natalie. Since I was a child I have struggled with body image and food, but I have struggled with an eating disorder for ten years. I struggled with anorexia for seven years and then it switched to struggling with bulimia and binge eating disorder. I have struggled with the binging for three years and I never thought in my life that I could ever recover from my eating disorder. I have always hated myself…hated myself. It hasn’t mattered what size I’ve been…I’ve never been good enough.
When I started gaining weight because of binging, I would just keep going to food for comfort to help numb the anger and hatred I had for myself (and every other problem in life). I have gone to food for everything, when I’m sad, lonely, hurt, upset, insecure…food has always been there for me. It’s been my comfort, my friend and my control…really ever since I was a little girl.
Well, when I started gaining weight I tried every diet program out there…literally every diet program. I have wasted more money then I care to admit signing up and starting these programs, buying books, meal plans…you name it, I’ve done it. And EVERY time gained more weight than before I even started the program. I would lose weight fast…but I couldn’t handle it and I would just binge to where I would gain more weight. So then I’d try again and lose weight by a diet or restricting and gain it all back plus some.
Last year I had come to my wit’s end. I don’t know how but I stumbled across this website and it just caught my eye. I signed up for the emails and I absolutely fell in love with this method and these people. Finally, someone was speaking my language!! Each email that came through, I could relate to it in a way I hadn’t been able to! So I then purchased the Bulimia Help Method and watched the videos printed out the papers and I started going through it just by myself. Well, I had gone through something in life which brought me to my lowest point. I was binging a lot and gaining so much weight. I literally thought I was going insane. I got to the point where I was sobbing and speaking out loud to myself in my room one night. I was just hating myself and my life. I was utterly exhausted with trying to fight this eating disorder. I was scared to death to sign up for this coaching/emailing program because I had literally tried every other method out there…why would this one be different?? Why would this one help?? Would I really heal from this like this program said I would?? Would these emails really help…I mean it’s just emails? But because I was so low and truly on the brink of insanity without thinking much more, I signed up.
Let me tell you something…this program saved my life. I have more hope for my future than I have ever had in my life! (And believe me, I have read other people’s stories and would doubt what they would say…but it’s true!!) I have started maintaining weight…I haven’t even lost much weight (I don’t know cause I don’t have a scale) but! I have just recently been able to start loving, enjoying and appreciating myself right now, at this weight I’m at…and I haven’t had that since…ever!! I am still a baby in this journey, I feel, but even my family just told me, they haven’t seen me this happy and healthy in a long time…and they said not just the outward…but on the inside.
You will not find sweeter coaches, they understand, they don’t make you feel stupid or insecure. With all the programs and counselors and therapists I have been to I have never shared more vulnerable secrets and things about myself then I have with my coach and not once did I feel stupid but I felt so free and like for once somebody understands and gets me and this crazy disorder and the fight that we fight!!
If you’re thinking of doing this program or doubting this is the right one for you?? Trust me. It’s right. It works. It’s the best program I’ve ever done and I wish to goodness that I could put into words how thankful I am for this program and for my coach. God, my coach and this program saved my life…and it can save YOU!
“Before I started email coaching with Catherine I was binging and purging over three times a week, pretty much all day.
The day after binging and purging I would spend over three hours trying to exercise all the guilt and calories away, neglecting all the things I truly value in life including my family and my degree.
In a state of desperation I reached out to Catherine and I have never looked back since. Catherine’s coaching has had a profoundly positive impact on my life. Thanks to her wisdom and patience, binging and purging is pretty much a distant memory for me.
Catherine has guided me through every challenge and hurdle I’ve faced and made freedom from this horrible disorder seem so possible. I never ever thought I’d reach the day where my cupboards could be filled with chocolate, cereal, peanut butter (and all other sorts of former trigger foods) without feeling the desire to inhale them all.
I have a new found love for life and would thoroughly recommend Catherine and Binge Code Coaching to anyone struggling with bulimia and/or binge eating. Investing in coaching will serve you in immeasurably positive ways both mentally and physically for life.
Thank you for everything Catherine.
What can I say? The Binge Code is the only thing that has helped me to reclaim my life from Bulimia.
The best part is, I never thought it would be so easy!
If I had known just how simple and relatively quick recovery could be, I would have started years ago. Once I started balancing my blood sugar and eating more frequently, I found I felt (and even looked) healthier than ever.
After just six months of coaching, my wonderful coach Milda suggested I was ready to leave the program and go back to monitoring my eating on my own.
I was scared and definitely encountered setbacks, but she provided me with so many easy-to-use tools that I was able to pick back up on my own and continue to live a life free from food obsession.
Binge Code Coaching did so much more than just help me to stop feeling crazy around food; it gave me my life back.
Once my blood sugar was balanced and I could think more clearly, I started to realize that I’m not living the life I want to be living, and started working towards new goals and a new career.
My relationships are better, my life feels calmer, and I have a newfound sense of confidence and self-love I couldn’t have achieved without Milda.
Lisa’s Story: Recovery using email coaching
Bulimia had so many negative effects on my mind and my body. I didn’t realize how deep I was in this illness until I began using your recovery program. After a few weeks I started to feel that I needed more support. At that point I completed the initial information questions and put in my request to be paired with a coach. I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Was this someone who I would connect with? What was the real role of the coach? Did I really need this?
I was paired with Catherine Liberty. She was supportive, she quoted some of what I had written so I knew she actually read it!! She gave me some homework to do. I have to say her initial “assignments” were terrifying to me, but after short reflection I saw such incredible value in everything she has suggested I do. It is comforting to read her words because I know she knows what I am feeling and going through. I get so excited to check my email during the day to see if she has sent something new. I feel I have made a new friend, but it’s more than friendship-her genuineness and honesty really help me open up about what I am thinking and going through. I chose email correspondence for many different reasons and she has encouraged me to email as often as I need to. I ask her questions, I vent, I whine, whatever I need to do she welcomes and always with kindness, she replies. The open communication is incredible. When I feel most vulnerable, sad, alone in this battle; she is there with kind words and thoughtful insights.
I have already shared the benefits of this program with so many of my friends and family. It is changing my life everyday. It offers the greatest level of support and information. I could go on and on about how much it has done for me and continues to help me everyday of my recovery.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Lotah's Story: Recovery after 28 years
After 28 years of disordered eating I was at rock bottom when I discovered “The Binge Code” on-line. And then began the long slow journey to recovery.
I was sceptical.
After having sacrificed 75% of my life to the disease and having tried all kinds of ways of trying to get better, I really wasn’t sure anything would work.
With a young family to look after, my own business to run plus all the issues that arose in my life and marriage as I moved on in recovery, there was no way I could follow the time structure in the book or get more rest or take time out for myself. I muddled along and did my best to follow the principles. For the first weeks, most of my structured eating was just porridge, several times a day…
I was bloated for ten long and miserable weeks at first. I had to stick to structured eating for over a year before I could even consider introducing “unsafe foods”. And even after that I was constantly returning to the safety of structured eating.
After being underweight for all my adult life (apart from when pregnant) I gained weight at first and went up a clothing size (oh the stress of no longer fitting into children’s clothes…at the age of 40+!), but no more than that – and nobody even noticed!
I had my first foray into intuitive eating after about two years, I think. And I had to keep returning to structured eating when things went wrong (as they did, repeatedly). At that point, I assumed that this was “as good as it gets” and that I’d be a structured eater for life.
Over the past year I have slowly become more of an intuitive eater. Still on my journey. Still moving forwards slowly, but I am moving and I am kinder to myself these days, which means I can acknowledge the small steps, too.
I am fitter, stronger, healthier and happier than I have even been before. The shadow of depression has lifted.
I was bagging up some small-size clothes that I used to wear and for some reason I put them on. They actually fit me again, so even the stage of losing some of the recovery weight is starting to happen. The clothes have gone to charity anyway. I don’t want them there as a reminder of everything I had to do to keep myself at that size over the years. I have no idea what I weigh these days. The scales went about 18 months into recovery. But I feel healthy and strong.
So, your programme is certainly working for me, just at a much slower rate than all the “time guides” stated therein.
My future mission is to do my utmost to ensure that no girl (or boy!) I have the privilege of coming into contact (starting with my own three children) ever embarks on a food-restriction diet…
So, there you have it, not a conventional success story with all the boxes ticked, but a real one. The imperfect journey of someone who now realises that she doesn’t have to strive for perfection in all things. I will keep on keeping on with the principles of your programme. They work. They really do. Thank you.
“Never, ever has anyone (including multiple licensed therapists) been able to offer any words of wisdom that actually made navigating this process any easier-until now.
Binge Code Coaching has changed my life.
I get what all of the recovered women from the program meant when they’ve said, “I’ve tried everything under the sun to recover, but it wasn’t until discovering the Binge Code that I ever found full recovery possible.” The world has so long needed a more scientific and pragmatic approach to eating disorder recovery. The fact that all of the coaches have, yourselves, experienced the horrors of bulimia and beyond is huge.
I feel so blessed and grateful to have found this program and to have been paired with Catherine as my coach.”
Suzanne's Story: Recovery after 45 years
On my very first Skype call with Ieva, I knew that recovery from 45 years of Bingeing and Restricting was no longer going to be part of my life. She told me that it could be easy and there was a solution. I believed her and in fact; this is what has happened!
My binge urges and bingeing behaviour is gone. I have been practising intuitive eating for approximately 6 weeks now and loving the freedom of it. I am learning to listen, communicate and trust what my body is telling me now; not just about food; but so many other things like rest, movement, need to be quiet, and overall energy cues… Leva told me that this journey will show me so much more than just my relationship with food if I am willing to be open! And this is also true for me!
I did gain some weight and was quite disturbed about my spring clothes being too tight… I explained to Leva that my Dr. felt I needed to lose about 30 lbs. I could feel myself shifting back into restrictive eating thought patterns! I spoke to Leva about this and she handled my fears and apprehensions with great suggestions and strategies! Now I can review the homework that I did around this topic to remind myself of the big picture and alleviate those fear based thought patterns!
The compassion, tools and honesty I have received from Ieva in addition to reading The Binge Code, doing the Program and meditations have changed my life!
My husband and I have been together since 1984. He has listened to me carry on about my weight and supported me though all the various diets and weight loss plans that I have experimented with over the years….. it is the first time that we are having fun planning meals together, compiling menus and enjoying our meals with no stress about counting points, calories, portions etc!
Thank you so much! There are not words to express my gratitude!
“I would like to say that coaching has been a truly life-changing experience. I am not the same person I was when I began, and my life is even more full of joy and hope than I ever could have imagined in my first, broken call with Ieva.
She has been an absolute blessing, and for someone who didn’t believe they could ever recover, I now cannot remember what it felt like to have the desire to binge and purge.
I could not recommend this recovery experience more wholeheartedly. It is with both sadness and joy that I move on from coaching. Ieva filled me with hope from our very first call, and I see now that my recovery began when I committed to this program and asked her for help.
“I want to tell you how wonderful it has been to work with Ieva these past months. She’s an amazing coach and human being. I truly feel the world is a better place because she’s in it!
Ieva has helped me in my healing process tremendously.
have had a significant reduction in my binges (from almost daily to once every few weeks) and have lost about 10 lbs since I began working with her (and that accounts for gaining several lbs in the beginning of the process). I know that is not the purpose of this work but naturally as I choose healthy foods and practice mindful eating, the weight has come off. Not only has my physical help improved but my mental well being is dramatically improved. I have gone from feeling hopeless and desperate to feeling joyful, positive and light. It’s pretty incredible really. I can imagine myself free of a long standing eating disorder and I am well on my way. There were times when that seemed virtually impossible.
I want to thank you for the fantastic service you provide and placing me with Ieva.
Brenda's Story: Recovery after 33 years
After 33 years of raging bulimia and binge eating.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I made a decision on a skiing trip to get help from somewhere, anywhere.
Surfing the internet in the mountains in Andorra I stumbled across the Binge Code.
I bought the book, I joined the Facebook page (I left as I was too anxious) and I read everything and listened to everything.
I obsessively read and re-read your emails Ali, looking for flaws and ways out.
I have really struggled with every aspect of the process,
I have doubted everything,
I have doubted my ability to change,
I have given up daily.
I desperately hoped you weren’t clever marketeers like the dieting industry.
I needed something to stop the weight gain and the loss of control.
Ultimately though – I just believed you in my guts and had no other option.
I have been bulimia free, with around 10 lapses of one off episodes lasting 1-2 hours, since 1/1/18.
I have gained more weight around my middle, the thing I most feared
I have lost control, another thing I feared.
So damn hard!
I have hated and struggled every bit of this.
I feel as though I don’t know myself anymore, who am I now, what is my identity now?
- I no longer fear food.
- I eat everything.
- I am closer to my husband.
- I eat really good food.
- I have more energy.
- I know what my triggers are.
- I no longer feel damaged.
- I no longer blame my past.
- I am learning to self nurture (going to bed early)
- I know when I am hungry.
- I know when I am full.
- I know how to breath and talk away a binge.
- I can stop a binge just as I feel one coming on.
- I am more emotional.
- I am learning to accept myself.
- I am lifting weights and doing yoga – neither obsessively like before.
It’s a miracle and I am just starting to see the light.
I think I am loosing the emergency weight my body has gained as i recover.
I shy away from food restricting.
I am seeing diets for what the are – mass control of people.
I am learning a gentler way of talking to myself.
I think I may be cured of this sickness. I was just bloody hungry!
I get a lump in my throat when I write this, it makes me believe in the existence of angels.
I needed to acknowledge my overwhelming gratitude to you and your husband for your wisdom, clarity and dedication.
I had some form of disordered eating for as long as I can remember.
I started dieting at a very young age- I attended weight watchers meetings with my mom in middle school and did Jenny Craig in high school. Many of my earliest memories are tied to food, dieting and body image. I was always cycling through dieting and bingeing- I wanted to lose weight but felt powerless to binges. As my restriction became more severe, my binges got more intense too. In college, I started purging, which quickly spiralled out of control. I had to drop out of college and go to an outpatient clinic. The treatment helped and I didn’t have disordered eating for 5 years. I felt free and ‘cured’. My experiences inspired me to get an advanced degree in psychology. I was happy.
Fast forward to my second year of grad school. I had gained a little weight and found the more I tried to diet it away the more weight I ended up putting on. Which led to more dieting. Eventually, I relapsed, which turned into 4 long years of bulimia again. The shame, guilt, anxiety and depression that came with was painful. I was so frustrated and so ashamed. I wasn’t sure if I would get better this time. I hid it from almost everyone I knew, even my live-in boyfriend. I tried so many things to get myself to quit bingeing and purging: online therapists, in-person therapy, intuitive eating courses, a zillion books, one-on-one coaching that cost an obscene amount of money (ugh it was more than $4k). I tried bribing myself, bullying myself. Nothing worked long-term. I was bingeing and purging about 2x a week and it was killing my soul.
I found the email coaching program through a bulimia self-help book I was reading at the time. I decided to give it a shot. I was already in the habit of throwing money at my eating disorder out of desperation. I chose the email option because I already had experience with video and phone therapy, and found it difficult to be fully honest. My lack of assertiveness and people-pleasing nature didn’t lend itself to video or phone therapy. Both times I ended up ghosting the therapist in the end, unable to tell them I was struggling if I relapsed. I didn’t want them to think less of me. It sounds silly now but that was my reality.
I cannot say how much this email coaching has changed my life.
I literally thought I was never going to recover. My family history and long-standing dieting and body image issues felt like curses I would never be able to overcome.
Right away Catherine helped me through emails. I felt I could be completely honest with her and that she wouldn’t judge me. She understood. I could save her incredible words, and read them again later.
Her unwavering optimism, unrelenting belief that I could recover and positivity helped me every day.
I am honestly shocked that I am recovered.
I did not think it would happen. I did email coaching for 2 months and I am so far down the road to recovery already. Throughout this process, I felt so understood, cared for, and supported. I am able to eat without guilt, keep all sorts of food in my house, and not think about my appearance every 5 seconds. I lessened the frequency with which I use food to cope with boredom/sadness/anger/anything. Trust the program.
If you are lucky enough to do email coaching with Catherine, you will get better!
She is the best!